The Re-Education of Ms. G (Part 3)

There is a perfectly good reason why I have not mentioned how school has affected my home life until now; because, I have not had time to think about a “home life.” It is now the fifth week of school, and I have just begun to get accustomed to the politics of teaching.

Currently, I have lost all interest in personal hygiene and housekeeping. If DSS (Department of Social Services) came by my house, they would most likely take my kids away from me. Last week my children had “Hot Pockets” for dinner, five nights. I know how this sounds; but, it was only because I was out of “Bagel Bits.” My once, immaculate house has taken on the smell of excrement; so much so that last week I actually asked “Did someone stinky on the floor?” Speaking of bowel movements, I ran out of toilet paper last week…I am still out. Taped to my door, when I got home at 5:30 on Thursday, was an over flow notice from the Post Office. Normal, this is nothing to raise ones eyebrows about…except my mail is delivered to my house…right outside…a few feet from where I park…every day….

I quit shaving my legs and other things. Initially, I convinced myself that winter would soon be coming; therefore, shaving my legs would only make them cold. I have lost all sense of style. What do you mean an orange shirt does not go with pink pants? Since when? I have taken, instead, to parading my nasty, unshaven self around campus in, what can only be described as, self-deprecating clothing.

Around Wednesday, of last week, it finally occurred to me that I may be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Teaching was not supposed to be a real job…like something hard. I was supposed to be off by 3:30, remember? That was the deal! I come in at 8:05 and leave by 3:30; since when did my schedule include 7:15 to 5:00, only to go home and work until 12:30 or 1 am???? I don’t know people with real jobs that have those hours!!! Who works 17 hours a day???? This was not at all what I signed up for. I was/am on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

When school started, I was on this amazing diet and had actually lost quite a bit of weight. Somewhere around the second week of school, the diet was thrown out the window. I had taken to coffee for breakfast; skittles, M&M’s, Snickers, Mrs. Freshly Cupcakes, and French Fries for lunch; and Hot Pockets and Ice-cream for dinner. Pepsi and Coke cans littered my trash can at school…and at home. It was a really nasty scene…complete with a 2 pack a day cigarette habit I had picked up along the way. I could feel the ends begin to unravel, quickly!

My only saving grace is that, while it was extremely taxing, I love to teach….and the weekly “staffing” my new teacher friends and I have every week at Apple Annie’s after work, is also a plus! The stress of teaching, being a single mom, and trying to revive my fledgling personal life was all too much to take. It was just time for some self-evaluating.

First, I contacted a local therapist to set up an appointment; I needed to reorganize my thoughts. Second, I signed up for Nutra System…it was the only hope I had for ever looking normal again. Third, I decided to use every bit of my time at school to get my papers graded and decrease the work load I was hauling home every day. Fourth, I had a long talk with the kids about “helping Mommy.” I assigned day task, and I had the kids take on a greater responsibility around the house. Oh, and I finally shaved…

So, as I head into my 6th week as a first year teacher, I am clean; I have bought healthy food for my kids for dinner to prepare this week; my house smells wonderful again; and my car is clean. OH DAMN! I still have to go write lesson plans…Gotta go!