After C dropped out of school, I became even more determined to make these kids succeed. Every afternoon I hauled this huge canvas bag, filled with student work, home; and every morning hauled it back to school. I offered extra help after school, which nobody bothered to show up for. I don’t think my eyes shut at night before 1 am, and I rewrote lesson plans about 5 times that first week. It occurred to me, rather painfully, that the kids just weren’t going to do the reading. If this was the case, this was going to be one long year.

“I want to welcome each of you to This High School!” one of my 4 assistant principals greeted us at the “New Teacher” meeting. “We just want to thank each of you for joining our team here; and let you know that if you need anything, all you have to do is ask.” She continued. After 45 minutes of lecturing on where the copy machines are located (and a warning about making too many copies), the legal ramifications of showing movies in class, referral procedures, and the new rule about jeans on Fridays she says “We have many organizations in our school to encourage the students to be involved. Let me suggest that you volunteer for one of these, if you don’t we will volunteer you for one.” All of which is said with a smile.

So, let me get this straight: I have three children of my own, each with their own extra-curriculum activity; I have 73 students who could not be any less interested in school; and I have an enormous stack of papers to grade that follow me home every night. Now, I have to volunteer to sponsor an extra-curriculum program. Beautiful! So, not to let this new job assignment rain on my parade, I volunteer for the Sophomore Homecoming Float Committee and the Student Writers literary journal. I figure this will not take up much time, at this point what difference does it really make?

The use of Standard American English I, mistakenly, took for granted as a staple in academic writing. Apparently, dat, dis, sopose, den (as in- den I when to the store), wuz, and wez (as in – we’z went to the store) are acceptable forms of writing. I also had no clue that they’re, their, and there are all interchangeable. Imagine my surprise, when I learned that if you choose not to read a story that is assigned, a student still expects credit; because, at least they came to class. Let’s forget for a second that I have to teach these children well enough, so that they are capable of passing the HSAP in a month; and focus more on the fact that most of them have no idea that the word student’s is much different that students or students’. I vow to myself that, if nothing else, by the end of my class they will know that alot is two words, a lot.

Unit Test One was a flop. While the scores ranged in a normal pattern (after I curved them), it was obvious that the students were just not ever going to do the reading. This was going to be difficult. How could I get them to do the reading, and realize the importance of being prepared to discuss it in class? AHHHHH ---- GUM!!!So began the “bribery” portion of my class. For each student who did the reading for homework, and also contributed a meaningful comment, he or she would receive gum! It worked like a charm. Finally, the kids were reading. I know, I know you shouldn’t bribe them; but let me ask you this, if your job was on the line if a group of 10th graders could not pass a standardized test, would you resort to whatever tactics worked? Thought so. At this point, I am going through about 8 bags of gum a week.

Poetry, the torn in the side of every high school student alive, has finally begun. “Okay, guys! New Unit. Poetry.” I smile. The “boos” and “awwws” can be heard well down the hall. “I know. I know it is not your favorite unit, but if I have to teach it then you have to learn it.” I smile again. I really cannot help taking pleasure in their misery over poetry; let’s not soon forget, these are the same kids who refuse to do reading homework unless there is sort of candy involved.“So, why do people write poetry?” I ask.
“Because, it sucks.” One of my smart ass students responds.
“Um, not so much.” I respond, the kid smiles.“Seriously. Why?” I ask again.
“To express emotion.” Another student offers.
“Okay. Anyone else?” I ask. Of course no one else has an answer. “I have always thought that poetry was written to inspire. Later, I am going to read you a poem by Mr. Robert Herrick titled “To the Virgins to Make Much of Time.” The sly smiles spread across the faces of every horny kid in my class. “I see you smiling, and your smiles are warranted. Mr. Herrick wrote this poem to encourage young virgins to sleep with him. His thinking was that if he made them feel like time was running out for them, that he might be more successful in his quest. He was right.” I introduced the literary element of “Author’s Intent” and selected a few poems from the text. The kids read the poems aloud, and we discussed the author’s intent of each one. I wanted the kids to not be afraid of interpreting the poems in their way. I know we are supposed teach them to find the real “author’s intent”; but I just feel that teaching them to think for themselves might be a greater justice.
“Ms. G, why can’t you just tell us what it means? Why we gotta guess?” one kid asks.
“Because, I want the poem to mean something to you. I want you to connect it to your own life.” I respond.
“The dude that wrote these poems is dead. How you want me to make a dead man’s poem connected to me?” same kid.
“Okay….here’s why.” I begin reading:
“GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.
The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
the higher he's a-getting,
the sooner will his race be run,
and nearer he's to setting.
That age is best which is the first,
when youth and blood are warmer;
but being spent, the worse and worst
Times still succeed the former.
Then be not coy,
but use your time,
and while ye may go marry:
For having lost but once your prime
you may for ever tarry.”
“So what do you think this poem means?” I ask.
“It’s about things that suck!” another smart ass kid answers.
“No, you are wrong again. You are not very good at this are you?” I know, I should not be a smart ass…just think “GUM”…I HAD TO BUY THEM GUM TO GET THEM TO FUCKING READ!
“It’s about not wasting your time.” A kid that actually passed the Unit Test answers.
“Okay, anyone else?” I ask
“It’s about doin’ all the stuff you can before you die. Like if you want to be a famous basketball player, or whatever.” Another kid answers.
“Okay, anyone else?” A few other kids respond with similar answers.
“How does the poem make you feel?” I ask next.
“Like I need to, maybe, do some stuff with my life.” Another kid answers.
“Do you think the poem is a romantic poem? Is it about love?” I ask.
“No” a sampling of kids respond.
“Okay, the title of this poem is ‘To the Virgins to Make Much of Time’” I say and the kids all start to smile. “So, now do you see why it is important to make a personal connection to the text? Poetry is not written for the author, it is written for the reader. You have to make it yours” and, having lost complete track of time, the bell rings signaling the end of class…and finally my day!

One minor success later, I am on my way out to my car feeling like it might be able to make it until Christmas.
“Ms. G” a voice calls out behind me
Oh, hey Mrs. Z. How are you doing?” I ask.
“Oh, I am just fine. You, on the other hand, are not.” She comments in a snippy attitude. “You still have not signed your IEP’s or 504’s. You know that is against the law. I suggest you get to Guidance and sign those tomorrow.” She smiles and sharply turns away.
“Yeah, you know what…sign them your damn self! I was just about to have a good day, when you have to march your fat ass out here and tell me another thing I am not doing. How about next year, you send me some notice? I am a first year teach, damn it!” of course I did not say this…but this lady drives me crazy. So, I make a complete U turn and head to guidance.

Apparently, I have 5 students who are on either IEP’s (Individual Education Plans) or 504’s (some other state mandated program). I read all the accommodations and sign my name. I was just about to push open the door, when one of the counselors reminds me “you have to fill out a weekly behavior chart on each one LD students, they are due Monday. You have to submit 3 weeks’ worth of reports, because you are late signing your accommodations” Beautiful!

Okay…here is where you are going to seriously begin to doubt me….So, I finally make it to my car, at 5pm; when the assistant principal stops me to 1) Ask if I have posted my lesson plans on the internet yet.2) Ask if I have contacted my department head to schedule a meeting for the sophomore class float committee that I sponsor.3) Ask if I have begun writing my LRP that is due Sept. 25th.4) Ask if downloaded the Homecoming Queen ballots from the internet and printed them.5) And to remind me that she will be coming by this week to “observe” me.

Oh holy hell!

So, check this out. The LRP (Long Range Plan) is a plan you have to write during your new teacher training. Apparently, you add onto it over the years. I can understand this, I can appreciate it. What still baffles me is why anyone would expect a first year teacher to know what the hell they are going to do in terms of the long range? I don’t know what I am going to be doing next week, much less all semester!!!! I just think this is something they might have considered waiting on, until a new teacher's second semester…when she actually knows if what she is teaching is working. Ya know? I mean, I have never taught in my life! I have no idea what my long range plan is…I will know…next semester, when I have one unit behind me! COME ON!

Hi…my name is Ms. G, I am a glorified babysitter to 73 kids; I file behavior reports on students who barely even come to class; my long range plan consist of not hitting anyone child today; I sponsor the Sophomore Homecoming Float Committee, whatever the hell that is; I have taken to sarcasm in the classroom; I bribe kids with gum; oh! And I teach English II CP.

After my observation…THE NEXT DAY…I got an e-mail from my assistant principal.

Subject: IMPORTANT
Comment: Come See Me

Her office scares me. The chairs are hard, plastic student seats. When I sit down she pushes her glasses up on her nose.
“I just wanted to tell you that, when I observed you today….” she begins.
“Okay let me say this first! The reason the kids were sitting on the floor is because I promised them an outside day but it was raining and so I told them that they could sit on the floor and write their poetry there because I didn’t want to let them down and if that is what I did wrong I am sorry and I just wanted you to know that I really love being here and I really love my….” I manage to say in one breath before she interrupts me.
“I was just going to tell you, that you are doing an excellent job. Keep up the good work! You know, we have an outside classroom. Check it out sometimes. Hayley, I can tell your kids really like you; I can tell you are really enthusiastic about the subject matter. Keep up the good work!” she smiled.

Oh. My. God. I am an AWESOME human being! This is what I was born to do and, even if it isn’t, there is only like 83 days until Christmas….